Ever since I read Malina’s post about toddler hood, and terrible two’s; I have wanted to shout out to the whole world that I too have just very recently experienced the ‘onset of the terrible tow’s’!!
Earlier when mommies would tell me how their kids were suddenly not babies any more but had opinions and demands and most of all a vocabulary to say what’s on their minds…I was like…”my Aadi would never do that…he is just too sweet for all this”. But I was proved very wrong. As soon as Aadi turned two, he suddenly was not my baby anymore, he was suddenly saying a lot of words, at times broken sentences and most of all he was learning the trick of their trade i.e. throwing tantrums.
Of course it is not as terrible as it sounds. I love the fact that his language skills have improved so well and he can say a lot of words in both Marathi as well as English.
Most importantly I noticed that he had learnt to say an emphatic “No” and “Nako” (Nako is No in Marathi our mother tongue) and also (thankfully) a seemingly lovely sound of “Yes” !!
Before moving to KL, his tantrums were not that painful, but now, it’s like I have to pay attention to his demand ( though only at times as I believe that if you pay attention to a tantrum you are fuelling the tantrum). I feel his tantrum or anger-exhibition as I prefer to call it is more due to the fact that he is not engaged in school activity yet & that maybe it’s his way of telling us that he misses all. I don’t get angry or lose my cool at him…poor thing I feel very sorry for him & it only propels me to hunt for that perfect school for him. But yes I lose it completely as the clock hits 8 PM !! Post this hubby has to be home to take over or else there are some screaming scenes.
Just today after bath he told me he wants to wear a Cars (the movie) shirt, he does not have one. I tried to calm him, but it was futile. I found him a nice blue shirt with an airplane on it, but he was least bothered. He continued with his crying, then I offered him a warm cup of milk and voila, I had a happy & playful baby (oops toddler).
The way I look at tantrums & anger show is that the kids are still young enough to say exactly what they want, & if we cannot understand them it irritates them more. At times just hugging my son has made him happy. Another thing to understand is that this is also the time when they are forming their individuality, so we must encourage all good things, and discourage what we think is not good. This is very crucial as kids don’t know the difference between good & bad and will want to imbibe anything & everything they see in us, the parents, media like TV, movies etc. I have seen some parents who are in their own world, and are not focused on the child, this also makes the child want to shout & scream and make his/her presence felt. I tell all my friends that the child is never at fault, it is us parents that fail to make the distinction between right & wrong to the child. Some people also believe in being friends to the child, I feel it is better to be parents to the child as will have lots of friends as he/she grows up & that they always will need a parent to guide them to scold them & to help them make decisions.