Separation anxiety is very normal among preschoolers, especially first-timers. It is quite natural for children to cry, whine, and cling to their parents during the first few days of school. They are, after all, being placed in a new environment with unfamiliar faces.
Though it may be hard for some parents not to give in to their child's heart-wrenching wails, it is important that you make your child understand that you cannot be with him all the time. Here's what you can do to bring down stress levels both for you and your child.
Prepare your child for the separation.
While you're eating breakfast, for example, plant the suggestion that you are leaving and that your child can cope by saying, "I know you're such a big girl and that you'll be fine in school while I go to the office."
Tell your child what you will be doing while you're gone.
This reassures him that you are not leaving because you don't want to be with him anymore, but because you need to get some things done.
Describe to your child what he will be doing in school in your absence.
Tell him in detail about the fun things he will be doing in school with his teachers.
Reassure your child that you will be coming back.
Always tell him that you will be returning - and prove to him that he can trust what you say by coming back when you said you would. And never, under any circumstance, threaten to leave your child when he "misbehaves." This will make him more fearful, and he will cling to you even more.
Prepare yourself.
When all the preventive measures have been exhausted and you still find yourself with a clinging vine, remember that the crying will only subside once your child learns the invaluable lesson that he can survive without you for a couple of hours. Don't make a fuss or punish your child for clinging; firmly encourage and reassure him instead. Holding, embracing, or babying him while telling him to go inside the classroom by himself may confuse him about whether he should stay or go, so be firm. Make sure you're not the one with the separation anxiety.
Praise your child the moment he's separated.
Say, "I'm so proud of you for being such a big boy in school" to make your child feel proud of his "accomplishment."
Pick the right school.
Children with separation anxiety need a warm environment where they can learn that the world is not as scary as they fear. It helps if the school has friendly teachers who will put them at ease. Also, make sure the school that the school curriculum includes plenty of fun activities.
Source:http://hubpages.com/hub/How_to_Deal_With_Separation_Anxiety
Separation Anxiety: 15 Ways to Ease Your Child's Fears
It took months before I was able to leave five-year-old Madison, my fourth child, at school without having to peel her fingers off of me one-by-one and endure her tears and tantrums. The curious thing was that she'd gone to nursery school the previous year without making a fuss. Although Madison's teachers reassured me that she settled down and seemed worry-free within minutes after I left, I didn't know how heart-broken I would feel leaving her in such a state.
Separation anxiety is a little one's way of saying how much they
really don't want to say good-bye. Most preschoolers and grade-schoolers experience it at some point in their early lives. Sometimes it occurs out of the blue after a change in the environment. Other times separation anxiety occurs because children are worried about life at home
-- perhaps because parents are fighting or someone is sick -- and they feel a sense of uncertainty about leaving home. Most often, however, separation anxiety is purely a "missing mom" issue. Madison fussed for months on end until I had my eldest daughter drop her off. Almost immediately, the tears and tantrums disappeared. Follow these 15 strategies and you may be able to minimize the problem too.
DO: Keep your good-byes short and sweet. In doing so, you convey the message that you have confidence in your child's ability to cope.
DON'T: Hover around. Your child will sense your anxiety, and this will make it more difficult for her to calm down.
DO: Tuck a family picture or a loving reminder away in your child's backpack
for her to look at later in the day.
DON'T: Sneak out. You want your child to know unequivocally that she can trust you.
DO: Develop loving good-bye routines. Madison and I invented a kiss-hug-nose-rub routine that we both enjoy.
DON'T: Bargain or bribe your child to behave. Your little one should be allowed her feelings.
DO: Send clear messages. Your child needs to know that you expect him to go to school no matter how much he fusses, cries or stamps his feet.
DON'T: Take your school-aged child home. If you do, you send the message that if your child cries enough he won't have to stay.
DO: Invite children from the class over, so your child can forge friendships that will make the transition easier.
DON'T: Get upset. By keeping an upbeat and positive attitude about your child's school, teacher and friends, you'll help your child feel safe and enjoy his time at school.
DO: Ask your spouse or another family member to take a turn dropping your child off, or pick up one of your child's classmates on the way to school, and your problems may disappear with lightning speed.
DON'T: Discuss problems with the teacher in the morning. Save conversations and questions for the end of the day.
DO: Involve the teacher. You need someone on the other end who will greet your child and ease the transition.
DON'T: Be surprised if you solve the problem and it reoccurs after holidays and sick days.
DO: Believe in your child's ability to make positive changes.
Remember: Separation anxiety means that a strong and loving bond exists between you and your child.
source:http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/0,,n8sx,00.html